Dog Jokes
How many members of your sign does it take to change
a light bulb?
Aries: Just one. You want to make something of it?
Taurus: One, but just "try" to convince them that the burned-out
bulb is useless and should be thrown away.
Gemini: Two, but the job never gets done - they just keep arguing about who
is supposed to do it and how it's supposed to be done!
Cancer: Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help them
through the grief process.
Leo: Leos don't change light bulbs, although sometimes their agent will
get a Virgo to do the job for them while they're out.
Virgo: Approximately 1.0000000 with an error of +/- 1 millionth.
Libra: Er, two. Or maybe one. No - on second thought, make that two.
Is that okay with you?
Scorpio: That information is strictly secret and shared only with the
Enlightened Ones in the Star Chamber of the Ancient Hierarchical
Order.
Sagittarius: The sun is shining, the day is young and we've got our whole
lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid light
bulb?
Capricorn: I don't waste my time with these childish jokes.
Aquarius: Well, you have to remember that everything is energy,
so...
Pisces: Lightbulb? What lightbulb?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one, but the lightbulb has to really want to change.
How many engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Who cares, how'd they get in there in the first place?
Colleges:
How many Princeton students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two--one to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician.
How many Brown students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Eleven--one to change the lightbulb and ten to share the experience.
How many Dartmouth students does it take to change a lightbulb?
None--Hanover doesn't have electricity.
How many Cornell students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two--One to change the lightbulb and one to crack under the pressure.
How many Penn students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one, but he gets six credits for it.
How many Columbia students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Seventy-six--one to change the lightbulb, fifty to protest the lightbulb's
right not to change, and twenty-five to hold a counter-protest.
How many Yale students does it take to change a lightbulb?
None -- New Haven looks better in the dark.
How many Harvard students does it take to change a lightbulb?
One--he holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.
How many MIT students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five--one to design a nuclear-powered bulb that never needs changing, one
to figure out how to power the rest of Boston using that nuked lightbulb,
two to install it, and one to write the computer program that controls the
wall switch.
How many Vassar students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Eleven--One to screw it and ten to support its sexual orientation.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Top Of Page -
Off The Wall -
Callahans Home
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
How many Stanford students does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, dude.
How many Oberlin students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three--One to change it and two to figure out how to get high off the old
one.
How many Georgetown students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Four--One to change it, one to call Congress about their progress, and two
to throw the old bulb at American U. students.
How many Duke students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A whole frat--but only one of them is sober enough to get the bulb out of
the socket.
How many Williams students does it take to change a lightbulb?
The whole student body--when you're snowed in, there's nothing else to do.
How many Tufts students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two--One to change the bulb and one to say loudly how he did it as well as
an Ivy League student.
How many Sarah Lawrence students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five--One to change the bulb and four to do an interpretive dance about it.
How many Swarthmore students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Eight--It's not that one isn't smart enough to do it, it's just that
they're all violently twitching from too much stress.
How many Mt. Holyoke students does it take to change a lightbulb?
One--she calls a Smithie to do it.
How many Smith students does it take to change a lightbulb?
One--all you need is one hot woman and you'll never have a heterosexual
lightbulb again.
How many Amherst students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Thirteen--One to change the bulb and an acapella group to immortalize the
event in song.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Top Of Page -
Off The Wall -
Callahans Home
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
How many Wesleyan students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Wesleyan's boycotting GE--you know, military-industrial complex and
all that.
How many Connecticut College students does it take to change a
lightbulb?
Two--One to change the bulb and one to complain about how if they were at
a better school the lightbulb wouldn't go out.
How many Bucknell students does it take to change a lightbulb?
One--but he'll only change it if he can put in a white-light bulb.
How many Bowdoin students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three--One to ski down to the general store and buy the bulb, one to take
the chairlift back to school, and one to screw it in.
How many Bard students does it take to change a lightbulb?
One--but she'll only do it if it's an alternative lightbulb.
How many Boston College students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Seven--One to change the light bulb and six to throw a party because he
didn't screw it in upside down this time.
How many Reed students does it take to change a lightbulb?
One--and she doesn't even need a ladder because she has platform
Birkenstocks.
How many RIT students does it take to change a light bulb?
Five--One to get the research grant from Kodak, one to change the bulb, one
to analyze cost overruns, one to withdraw from stress.
