One day up in heaven St. Peter decides to liven up his day by setting up a
contest. He annouces to those in line that only the best, most interesting
death stories get you past the gate today, no matter what kind of life
you had.
So the first guy in line says no problem and starts to tell his story. He
says he was a jealous husband. He was at work getting himself steamed up
over the idea that his wife at home cheating on him. He was so convinced
that she was cheating that he went home during his lunch hour to catch
her in the act.
He was so upset when he arrived home that he just ran right into the door
in his hurry to get in. Finding it locked he rammed the door, breaking it
open ran in and went straight to the bedroom.
There he found his wife in bed. That did it, he is so sure there must be
a man around that he charged around looking for the man. He finally
looked out on the balcony and sure enough there is a man hanging from the
fifth floor balcony.
He started prying the man's fingers up so he'll drop, but the man held
on. The husband ran back into the house, grabbed a shoe and started
hammering at the guy's fingers.
Finally the guy dropped, fell all five stories, and bounced. The husband
can see that the man is not dead, so he went back in the house, ripped
the small fridge out and threw it off the balcony at the man.
The husband ended his story by saying, "I didn't get to see if I got
him because at that moment I had a heart attack and ended up
here."
St. Peter says, "Ok, you win, that's quite a story go on in."
He turned to the next guy in line who says he can top that.
"You see I was riding my exercise bike on my 8th story balcony when
the brace popped off and sent me over. I thought for sure I was dead but
then I managed to grab hold of someone's balcony. I was so relived, and
when I saw this large man come out on the balcony I thought I was being
rescued.
"But no, this guy was insane and started prying my fingers up. I
managed to hold on until he started pounding on my hands with a shoe.
It was too much. I couldn't hold on. So I fell to the ground but I
bounced off a hedge and survived the fall."
"Just as I'm standing up thinking this is one for the records, a
fridge landed on me, sending me here. St. Peter thinks to himself,
"What irony" and let the guy in.
Thinking that was the best he would hear in a day he turns to the next
guy in line. "Ok buddy, what's your story?"
The next guy in line starts off with, "You see I was hiding in
this fridge..."
