A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor
instead of by the police.
Middle age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one that
will get you home earlier.
You know you're into middle age when you realize that caution is the only
thing you care to exercise.
I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact,
I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid
you.
Be nice to your children, for they will choose your rest home.
The longer I live, the less future there is to worry about.
Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing for most of us that
it is not.
Don't take life so seriously ... it's not permanent.
Despite the cost of living, it's still quite popular.
Experience teaches you to recognize a mistake when you've made it again
and again and again.....
If you're old enough to know better, you're too old to do it.
I won't admit I'm more than 52, even if that does make my children
illegitimate.
The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through
Congress.
As we grow older year by year, the less and less we feel our oats, the
more we feel our corns.
I have everything I had 20 years ago, only it's all a little bit
lower.
Time wounds all heels.
Take care of your knees; you'll miss them when they're gone.
You're getting old when getting lucky means you find your car in the
parking lot.
You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker and you can't get it
started.
You're getting old when tying one on means fastening your MedicAlert
bracelet.
