"Can I draw you a beer, Norm?"
"No, I know what they look like. Just pour me one."
"How's a beer sound, Norm?"
"I dunno. I usually finish them before they get a word in."
"What's shaking, Norm?"
"All four cheeks and a couple of chins."
"What would you say to a nice beer, Normie?"
"Going Down?"
"What's new, Normie?"
"Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach and they're demanding
beer."
"What'll it be, Normie?"
"Just the usual, Coach. I'll have a froth of beer and a snorkel."
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Top of Page -
Off The Wall -
Callahan's Saloon
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"What would you say to a beer, Normie?"
"Daddy wuvs you."
"What'd you like, Normie?"
"A reason to live. Give me another beer."
"What'll you have, Normie?"
"Well, I'm in a gambling mood, Sammy. I'll take a glass of whatever
comes out of that tap."
"Looks like beer, Norm."
"Call me Mister Lucky."
"What do you say, Norm?"
"Any cheap, tawdry thing that will get me a beer."
"What would you say to a beer, Norm?"
"Hiya, sailor. New in town?"
(Coming in from the rain)
"Evening, everybody."
Everybody: "Norm!"
"Still pouring, Norm?"
"That's funny, I was about to ask you the same thing."
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Top of Page -
Off The Wall -
Callahans Saloon
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"Whaddya say, Norm?"
"Well, I never met a beer I didn't drink."
"Hey Norm, how's the world been treating you?"
"Like a baby treats a diaper."
"Would you like a beer, Mr. Peterson?"
"No, I'd like a dead cat in a glass."
"How's life treating you?"
"It's not, Sammy, but you can."
"What's the story, Mr. Peterson?"
"The Bobbsey twins go to the brewery. Let's cut to the happy ending."
"Hey, Mr. Peterson, there's a cold one waiting for you."
"I know. If she calls, I'm not here."
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Top of Page -
Off The Wall -
Callahan's Saloon
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"Beer, Norm?"
"Have I gotten that predictable? Good."
"What's going on, Mr. Peterson?"
"A flashing sign in my gut that says, 'Insert beer here'."
"Hey Mr. Peterson, Jack Frost nipping at your nose?"
"Yep. Now let's get Joe Beer nipping at my liver, huh?"
""Whatcha up to, Norm?"
"My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall."
"How's it going, Mr. Peterson?"
"Poor."
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"No, I mean pour."
"How's life treating you, Norm?"
"Like it caught me sleeping with its wife."
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Top of Page -
Off The Wall -
Callahan's Saloon
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"Women. Can't live with 'em....pass the beer nuts."
"What's going down, Normie?"
"My butt cheeks on that bar stool."
"Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?"
"Alright, but stop me at one....make that one-thirty."
"How's it going, Mr. Peterson?"
"It's a dog-eat-dog world, Woody, & I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear."
"What's the story, Norm?"
"Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer."
"How's about a beer, Norm?"
"That's that amber sudsy stuff, right? I've heard good things about
it!"
"What's going on, Mr. Peterson?"
"The question is what's going =in= Mr. Peterson? A beer please, Woody."
"Can I pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?"
"A little early isn't it, Woody?"
"For a beer?"
"No, for stupid questions."
