He saw the train
And tried to duck it.
Kicked first
The gas
And then the bucket.
Burma Shave. |
|
Don't stick your elbow
Out too far.
It may
Go home
In another car.
Burma Shave. |
|
|
Car in ditch,
Driver in tree,
The moon
Was full,
And so was he.
Burma Shave. |
|
Free, Free!
A trip to Mars.
For nine
Hundred
Empty jars.
Burma Shave. |
|
Around the curve
Lickity split,
Beautiful
Car
Wasn't it..?
Burma Shave. |
|
|
I proposed to Ida
Ida refused
I'd a won
My Ida
If I'd a used
Burma Shave. |
|
Substitutes
Are like a girdle,
They find
Some jobs
They just can't hurdle.
Burma Shave. |
|
The spring has sprung,
The grass has "rizz"
Where last
Years reckless
Driver is.
Burma Shave. |
|
|
Be a modern
Paul Revere,
Spread good news
From ear
To ear.
Burma Shave. |
|
Henry the Eighth
Sure had
Trouble,
Short-term wives,
Long-term stubble.
Burma Shave. |
|
Don't try passing
On a slope,
Unless you
Have a
Periscope.
Burma Shave. |
|
|
Angels who guard you
When you drive,
Usually retire
Above
Sixty-five.
Burma Shave. |
|
She put a bullet
Through his hat,
But he's had
Closer shaves
Than that!
With Burma Shave. |
|
Candidate says
Campaign confusing,
Babies kiss me
Since I've
Been using
Burma Shave. |
|
|
Bachelors quarters,
Dog on the rug,
Whiskers to blame
No one
To hug.
Burma Shave. |
|
The weather was clear,
The cars was whizzin',
The fault
Was hers
The funeral his'n.
Burma Shave. |
|
Brother speeders,
Let's rehearse,
All together
Good morning,
Nurse.
Burma Shave. |
|
|
Train approaching
Whistle squealing,
Pause --
Avoid that
Run down feeling.
Burma Shave. |
|
Thirty days
Hath September,
April, June
And the speed
Offender.
Burma Shave. |
|
He had the ring
He had a flat,
She felt his chin
And that
Was that.
Burma Shave. |
|
|
Drinking drivers,
Nothing worse,
He put the quart
Before the
Hearse.
Burma Shave. |
|
Substitutes
Can let you down,
Quicker than
A strapless
Gown.
Burma Shave. |
|
Her chariot
Raced at eighty per,
They hauled away
What had
Ben Hur.
Burma Shave. |
|
|
Grandpa's beard
Was stiff and coarse.
And that's what caused
His fifth
Divorce.
Burma Shave. |
|
The Queen of Hearts
Now loves
the Knave.
The king ran
out of
Burma Shave. |
|
The Burma Girls
In Mandalay
Dunk bearded lovers
In the bay
Who don't use
Burma Shave. |
|
|
My job is
Keeping faces clean
And nobody knows
De stubble I've seen
Burma Shave. |
|
