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Callahan's April 1997 Bar Rag!In this issue: A Saint Patrick's Day Toast - A Correction - Conference News - Message Board News - Weird News - Callahan's People - A Closing Thought - Joining Callahan's | ||||
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"Here's to Ireland -- for they've given us so much, may they finally
get the peace and freedom that's been lacking there for 800 years.
Slianche!" The last BAR RAG contained a factual error in fact. It reported that the World Women's Hockey Championships were played last month. In fact, they are underway now in Kitchener, Ontario. As an interesting aside, Manon Rheume, the woman goaltender who started an exhibition game for the Tampa Bay Lightning was cut from the Canadian team "because she played too much like a man." Go figure. The same Bar Rag also made disparaging comments about the Toronto Maple Leafs, particularly as they compared to the Colorado Avalanche. On March 29 the Leafs beat the Avalanche in Colorado. Stanley Cup ... here we come. On March 6 Mitzi (MITZIPROCTOR) hosted a conference on Unconditional Love.. and is it in fact possible ? The group (numbering perhaps 20 over the evening) was largely unable to arrive at a common definition ... strange when you consider that love is such a fundamental (but elusive) emotion in the human psyche. One of the burning questions, perhaps, was whether unconditional love can exist as all. Even toward our children. Does unconditional love mean eternal love, since if it is not eternal that means there is a condition for it's removal? Or is time not relevant? The conference was inconclusive, and even decidedly uncomfortable on the issue. The intercourse continued at length through the message board, without a definitive conclusion. Callahan's held its first annual Ides of March Toga Party on March 15 (when else did you think we would have it). It fit the growing tradition of a Callahan's Masqued party -- although there was no rule to unmasque (or stay disguised) this time. The party started the night before with a warm-up (hosted by Tracy (DOVE) who was wearing a lovely cotton shrink wrap number) ... and deteriorated into a perfectly respectable toga party. CLEOPATRA(Angel) tended bar and showed off her cute little asp anytime she had a chance to. HACIUS(Hassan) added an intellectual note, except that he was smoking hashish and felt the party had an underlying sexual innuendo (at Callahans? Yeahsureright;) Innuendo indeed !) CASPER (Terry) came in dressed like a ghost proving once again that people who grow pot in their living room sometimes just don't get it. Poor JULIUS(Kak) got picked on all night long, mostly by Cleopatra who stuck jello down every imaginable part of his short toga (and some you cannot imagine.) SHEBA(Mitzi) dropped her hankie beside Julius and looked up, wondering if Romans and Scotsmen wore the same thing underneath... HELEN OF TROY(Shady) sailed in with too many paddles in her water... BOHEMICUS(Bo) convinced *some* of the party goers that a cellophane toga had merit ... and OCTAVIA(Oxy) started a jello hot tub. Then Cleopatra crawled around on the jello strewn floor with corn syrup in her hair... and that cute little asp was in the picture again... I cannot but help remember that Irish Rovers tune "Wasn't That a Party." Lots of other folks were there ... including some totally confused. Next year... Be there. Sunday, March 15, 1998 ! ..and sure then, this was a good one. I think I had fun. I just wonder what Angel O'Malley was puttin' in those green manly sparklin' waters she was 'a serving me. Did she really have a diamond encrusted bra on? And if so, what fortuitous circumstance caused me to see it ? Sex came up again but since Josh (JONEWTON) had his Mum with him that all seemed to settle out rightly ... except when the ol' girl got up to jig. And there was a whole lot of jigging going on. Shady O'Shea (and the green given freely for her car), Molly McGuire (Mitzi).. (and you ought to have seen the jig she did on the bar ;), Janice O'Brian and redhead O'Malley, there, made sure of that. Then there was the shopping. Janice O'Brian did a verse of that old Irish tune ..."Tramps like us , baby we were born to shop..." (sorry Bruce). At which point O'Kak's credit card pocket started to ache. But there was good news. O'Malley, there, said she never charges more than $3,000 for a day. The Hassan O'Sabah got into the many times he spent in the gutter .... those were the days ... and how did Traci Lords figure in ? SILVERLOCK thought he went skiing on green snow at Kelly's Irish Alps aka Brodie mountain ... but, umm ... Silver ... here in Canada we call that grass. Happens between the end of winter and the start of the next. ... things were fading but Jimmy O'Japers(JAPERS), TEATON, O'Amb (AMBASSADOR), Birdie O'Magpie, Beverly(BEDINU), O'Kat(KATHYMOSES), fellow Canucks Jenn 'n Chris(020497S), and smashing Leigh(SINCERELEIGH) ... thanks for coming ... if I missed anyone blame O'Malley, there, 'cause she made me drink that manly green sparklin' water. The conference area was once again a varied and interesting place. Take for example the evening that Al (KINETIC) showed up and filled the pool with root beer. Then he put on a vanilla ice cream suit ... and jumped in. To bad Shady wasn't here. Mitzi saw the opportunity though and grabbed a straw ... Or the discussion that ensued on March 1 with Cham(KATKIN), Sam(SRT1023), NANC and a few others. Should your career be your passion ? Does education help a career ? Can you change careers 20 or more years in ? What about a career that drives a couple about 6,000 miles apart ? Does the career come before the relationships or can the relationship survive ? Does cyberspace figure in here ? One day Joce(JF) and Hassan X beat up on Kak about how management beats up on the "little people" --- how cold a business manager is toward employees. Kak wondered if people thought that a manager makes "downsizing / rightsizing" decisions lightly, or whether (s)he loses a great deal of sleep over them. The message board was a fascinating source of discussion and information as it is prone to be. Angel (TERRIBAILEY) started the month off with some Celtic poetry ... what this being St. Paddy's month and all. Later she got into Irish limericks... we rolled along into Irish Humor ... and that rolled along pretty much through to St. Paddy's. Smoking, By-laws that ban smoking in public places, and the effects (if any) or second hand smoke garnered some interested discussion ... although it eventually vaporized into this air. Hassan X (LUDIKID) kept us all awake with his popular *quot;Quote of the Day." Two possibilities. Either he has very little to do or he is extremely well read. Or Both. Roxy (ROXANNEII) shared with us not one, not two but four volumes of Roxy's Rambling. Roxy is a delightful writer with wonderful stories. You can catch them from our Web page or in our library. Doc (METCALFR) started a series on blonde jokes... Kak (ALKAK000) posted a brief book review on "The Road Ahead" by William H. Gates III - yeah ... that Bill Gates. Sheesh did that start a fluster ! Gates was bashed from every direction and was even called the devil incarnate. I guess jealousy of success causes that. Then we drifted to education, entrepreneurship, the lionizing of success .. and on and on. The discussion continues to this day with debates over capitalism, anarchy, better (or other) alternatives to the way things are generally done today, with a very very wide range of participants. A Spammer (ZUDHAVIZNUTZKUTOV) wiped out 25 or more messages on the message board. Only some quick thinking by the fine staff (and Manager) managed to save the place from sinking into total anarchy. But we survived ! A $CDN100,000 (less editorial and administrative expenses and exchange) reward has been offered for anyone who can turn in his jewels in the form of earrings for Cleopatra. Always vigilant for facts, this reporter has discovered how the tradition of Volvo bashing began. Janice(DAWSLITE) provided the insight on March 30. To wit: "Volvo's were originally designed to keep people safe who were under the mistaken impression that their lives were actually important.. One person got one with the impression that anything so ugly, slow, and expensive must have SOMETHING going for it.. he discovered that it was a mechanical mess.. that there was always something wrong with it. "He finally decided to just drive it until it dropped so he could justify replacing it he then discovered what could be said for it.. but was not sure it was a bonus.. as although it always ran poorly.. it continued to run so he could not justify replacing it he became so frustrated that he got out of it and kicked it. "This soon became a ritual.. every time he got in or out he would kick the car. As everyone saw this.. they too would get out and kick their Volvo.. people in the local village would see this and walk by and bash it as they went by.. pretty soon it became a fad.. everyone was Volvo bashing. "Volvo is rumored to be considering coming out with a pre-bashed model." There is some likelihood that she has not seen the new Volvo C70. March is Birthday Season at Callahan's. As promised, the ages of the various Birthday Girls and Boys are revealed in the following section ... but in puzzle form. Every age is there though. One is specifically revealed so you can catch the pattern. If you know Tracy's age (or for that matter, Kak's) that should make it easier yet. March 15 -- Cherrie(WUMING) was born on the Ides of March, but not back in the Roman era ... or maybe she was ... what being of Italian genes and all .. she was widely celebrated in Las Vegas, the reports say. March 16 - Al (KINETIC) had his.. well you figure it out. Here's how Shady said it ... "Happy Birthday! Ha! Ha! Ha! Happy Crustworth, crippy Hapmas Birthday ! Hippy Hoppy Burpday ! Bibbly bobbly sloppy chops Birthday ! Hairy scary fairy Happy Birthday ! And a happy next year, flabby next year, heady next deer, hairy belly beer, fairy bottom burp Mary had a little lamb, hatstand, blues Brothers, Hunky New Squire, News Choir, New Hair, what hair, you're here, year, smear, smile, happy new smile, happy next year two ewe! And then some... ;)" March 16 -- Happy Birthday Tina (CALLAHANS)! This list is growing. What DO people do in June ? Shouldn't they be outside enjoying themselves ? Or maybe they are ... ;) March 20 -- the L'il Kak turned 17. Good thing his old man isn't getting .. omigosh ... he IS an aging geezer ! March 22 -- Julia P turned ... umm ... geez ... Good gosh she must have been young when she begat the L'il Kak. March 23 -- Angel celebrated her ...... Birthday ... yeah ... that's right ... Birthday. Did you know the waiter dropped her cake at her birthday dinner after she told him he set her loins on fire ? March 26 -- Lou turned into an old T-Rex. Well not really. He already was. Just an older one now. March 27 -- If you can believe it ... Tracy is ... looks ... geez but that little black mini is throwing off my concentration. I wonder where she got that Austin. March 28 -- Lori (LORI10405) took a break from her and Tracy's project to build them selves a perfect man, to celebrate her birthday too ! Jocelyn(JF) reports that she has joined the Callahan's hospital brigade. She has poor hospital manners though. The food is bad, of course, but throwing up on that nurse was quite uncalled for. Sunnie(SUESTOVER) reports that sailing is the only thing better than sex, although when pressed on the issue she allowed that she had never had sex while sailing. Doc(METCALFR) has finally attained his Civilian Jet Pilot's license. Four years and 300 hours of hard work. Congratulations Doc! He celebrated on March 23 by watching the lunar eclipse and the comet from the heavens.
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