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Callahan's October 2005 Bar Rag!

"To Callahan's Warmth
Wherever You May Be!"

In this issue:

Opening Toast - Conference News - Board News
Birthdays/Calliversaries
Joke - Pun - Poem - Pun
Closing Quote - Editor's Note


KaptnKate got to thinking about friends and decided while it's OK to miss old friends, the best way to counter that is to add new friends to the crew. Bits stepped up to the chalkline and sent out a toast using words from a song she learned as a child....

Make New Friends
But Keep the Old
One is Silver
And the other Gold

*** Smash! ***

- Bits (LBT1) September, 2005


Conference News

A Conference/Chat report from Sandra:

If you missed Sticker Night in JayJ's Little Corner, you missed playing with some of the funniest people around.

Stickers were passed out to each patron upon entry into the hallowed halls of Callahans Saloon. Nghnam was very worried about the wart on JayJ's shoulder which later turned out to be part of her dinner and some oreo cookie stuff, but Nghnam didn't want to end up being a chip (on JayJ's shoulder)

Jennie, coming to JayJ's defense, pointed out that chips are very tasty, but Nghnam wasn't convinced. His worry continued over being one of them stickers that covers corns and warts. A sort of makeshift removal system... Not for our Nghnam. He needed something much more sophisticated. DarleneMDM entered the room and was totally unsure of what to do with her free sticker.

We explained that she just needed to peel it apart and it could be whatever she wanted it to be, and in the process of trying to unpeel it, it became stuck to her skin. The poor woman was in serious pain, until Fuzzy came up with the idea of pouring motor oil on her stickers. Of course, Nghnam quickly pointed out that oil is a precious commodity and we have to fight wars to get it.

In all of the confusion, Jennielyn found she had a FFS or faulty keyboard. She was unable to type much that was coherent.

Before the evening was over, Jennielyn had a sticker glued to her raised eyebrow, Fuzzy was pouting because he didn't get the 3D belly dancing sticker, epenthesis joined us to get a free sticker and was trying to teach us some math codes that no one understood. The Pixies joined us somewhere along the way and, of course found many unusual places to stick their stickers. <giggle>

Other enchanting patrons shared the evening, if only briefly. Pollyguru, who came just in time to help Jennielyn pour vodka on a sticker that was truly stuck on her eyebrow. However the vodka seemed to take the eyebrow and all. Jennielyn now has a new unique look.

We all managed to sing more birthday wishes to Fuzzy, who also got a sticker pasted on the top of his head that said, "It's my birthday, kiss me." He blushed to his ear lobes, but accepted his florescent green eyeshadow with grace. We worried about the fire hazard of Fuzzys cake, but everyone ate the cake and we had a cauldron full of frosting that everyone devoured.

Our last guest of the evening was ETR7 and it was a treat to have him here again. He reports that he is overly busy with family and has little time right now. We wish him well, and hope his time free's up soon.

We shared a lot of laughs on Sticker Night, we hope you join us for the next one.


Message Board News

From Sandra:

September brought lots of excitement to the General Discussion folder. Our very own Jennielyn went to NYCity and tested to be on the Millionaire show. Jennie passed the test with flying colors and was 1 of 12 people who did! Yay Jen!!!! Jules and Robyn decided to bat their eyelashes at Jen, just so she remembered them if she became a millionaire, which had Cortland pondering, "Do bats have eyelashes?" MagiCoon (Deb) shot sparklies and confetti at Jennie with a spafetti cannon and let her know that if she did become a millionaire, we'll be creating "Jennie's Tab" and buying some new supplies, like boas and wax, for the bar.

JayJ posted an alert on the boards. The BMW that she purchased for Fuzzy's birthday was gone! Rumor has it that the only thing left behind where she parked the BMW was crayon residue and a feather from a boa. Hmmmmm....wonder who it could've been? MagiCoon (Deb) put on her deerstalker cap, magnifying glass and searched for more clues. Jennielyn claims she is innocent (we all know how that goes.) Sure you are, Jennie...we believe you :)

Lou put out an APB for his missing Kitchen Fairies. One night he left dishes and glasses in the kitchen sink and they were still there in the morning! EEK! Carol believes she saw Lou's fairy spreading dust around her house and let him know she would be happy to send her back. The Pixies were too busy in the nest with some Peach Bellinis to notice any fairies. Silky thinks Lou's dish fairy was off partying with her coffee fairy. MagiCoon corrected Lou and let him know that his Elf is staging a revolution. Jules and Robyn think maybe the fairies found some Harry Potter books and thought they were treated unfairly. Fuzzy and Kirwand suggested that Lou stock up on undergarments because the laundry fairies may be lost too. Antrobus showed up as a representative for the fairies and let Lou know they had some BIG DEMANDS. Caneguru thinks she spotted the fairies hanging out with the sock gnomes. Dawn decided to try to tempt her fairies into returning but was reduced to washing her own dishes. Lou warned Dawn that he wasn't sure if that was legal. Dawn assured Lou that she did it under the cover of darkness. Antrobus showed up again letting Lou know that another grievance for pay to cover lost wages was filed against him. Lou bribed the fairies, and everyone else for that matter, with Irish Creme---and----well---the negotiations could still be going on....

September also brought Hurricane Rita and she was heading straight towards Gwen (Punstergal) and her family. Luckily with all our thoughts and prayers and lots of practical advice from Bits and Cortland, Gwen and her family stayed safe and dry.



Birthdays Last Month

Birthday Greetings were heartily extended to:

Sue   SWEETSUEM   September 4
Dawn   D_GRAY   September 6
Zoe   ZOEPIE   September 8
Dick   DICKEESTEP   September 11
Mike   MIKEMACE   September 11
Fuzzy   FUZZY96   September 13
Mitzi   MTPROCT   September 13
Silky   SILKY_42701   September 18
Aelith   AELITH   September 19
Luke   LUKESTER   September 25
Mary   MWAGNER98   September 30

Calliversaries Last Month

DK   Dwarvewnkind   September 3, 2000
Happy   HAPPYMSPAGE   September 3, 1999
Merritt   MERRITT9   September 3, 1999
Pewter   PEWTERPOT   September 5, 1998
Cameron   HHCAMERON   September 7, 1997
Sylph   LIBRARYLION   September 14, 1999
Minstrel   MINSTREL69   September 14, 2000
bard   BARDABARD   September 16, 1998
Ron   SOUTHRON2   September 19, 1999
JayJ   XJAYJX   September 22, 2001
Rachel   JEDI_LORI   September 23, 1999
Mike   MIIRISH   September 25, 1995
KT   GRANNYOF6   September 25, 2001
Kate   KAPTNKATE   September 26, 2001
Dave   DAVEAFC   September 28, 1999
Mitzi   MTPROCT   September 28, 1996

Joke of The Month

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The first officer is stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Woman: Betcha he told you I was speeding too.

- September 15, 2005


Pun of the Month

An Irishman named O'Leary, who loved to sing as he worked, bought a mule to farm his garden. The mule worked well but was almost totally deaf. So, when his owner yelled, "Whoa!", the animal often continued plowing.

Asked how the mule was working out, O'Leary shook his head. "There was a time, " he said, "when all the neighbors could here was me singing my lilting melodies." "Lately, I'm afraid, they've heard nothing but...

.
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.
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.
.
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.
.

"my riled Irish whoa's!"

- Carol (LADYLAUGHING) September, 2005


Poem of the Month -
"Montana Hills"

In the late summer afternoon,
the soft hills of eastern Montana
lie curved and golden,
like the flanks of a sleeping cougar.
Waiting for the cool of evening,
to stretch, yawn, and softly pad into the night.

Will they be there in the morning?

                -- Moochas September 6, 2005


Closing Quote

"If you were all alone in the universe with no one to talk to, no one with which to share the beauty of the stars, to laugh with, to touch, what would be your purpose in life?

It is other life, it is love, which gives your life meaning. This is harmony. We must discover the joy of each other, the joy of challenge, the joy of growth."

- Mitsugi Saotome
- courtesy Sue (SUEMO) September 7, 2005


Editor's Note

We hope you find the Bar Rag entertaining and informative. We can always use good pieces and writers here. If you have something you would like to submit, or have a comment, good or bad, about the newsletter, simply send us a note.

And a reminder: we urge everyone to use our website as your gateway into Callahans on Delphi Forums. You will find prominent links to our Message Board and Conference rooms there but also if we ever have technical trouble at Delphi, we can easily let you know and redirect you to a backup site if the trouble is truly serious.

And besides - our website itself is special..:)

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