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Callahan's May 2004 Bar Rag!

"To Callahan's Warmth
Wherever You May Be!"

In this issue:

Opening Toast - Manager's Corner
Website News - Conference News - Board News
Birthdays/Calliversaries
Joke - Pun - Poem - Pun
Closing Quote - Editor's Note


Opening Toast

To the people who have suffered and overcome domestic violence...

*** Smash! ***

- Carol LADYLAUGHING May 1, 2004


Manager's Corner

Hi all..

Many of us believe that there is a magic to Callahans. We've all felt it and at times we've discussed it over the years, which has led to an understanding that the magic doesn't like to be discussed very much. Nevertheless, recent events have given me an insight that I think can be safely shared..:)

The magic of Callahans exists because of a spirit people either bring with them from elsewhere, or quickly learn (through the magic!) to adopt as their own. This spirit has as many names as we have patrons but it all boils down caring about the feelings of others. To playing nice.

A patron recently posted suggesting that there were ways to say what needed to be said in spite of the spirit of the place. That is, if one is sufficiently clever one might violate the spirit of Callahans without violating its guidelines. It seems to me that this is wrong on several levels. If your goal is to word something in such a way to make the unacceptable somehow acceptable to the community, you just don't get what Callahans is all about.

Most of the patrons and staff of Callahans believe, I think, that whatever it is that makes Callahans special is worth preserving. And that rather than test the letter of our guidelines, one should adopt the spirit of them. I urge those of you who may not have thought this all the way through - to do so at your leisure..:)

The spirit of Callahans is special. Please join us in preserving it..:)


We've been trying hard to nail down a Gathering 2004 site and thus far - we've failed. We do have two prospects, though and will post the very latest as soon as the very latest exists..:)


We can't let April pass without noting the "kestrel?" thread passed the 4000 posts milestone on April 19th. That's a 4000 long haiku chain which must be a record of sorts! Congratulations to River Girl who noted the passage with a haiku..:)


Lou                


Conference News

A[n April 5th] Chicken Chat report from :Jennie

Oh my what a grizzly chat! Ok maybe not that bad.

Fuzzy, Amber and JayJ sat on the left side of the room because that was where the "not feeling good" people were supposed to go. I felt good but was lonely. At least until JayJ came over and taped my mouth shut.

JayJ organized a chicken plucking contest. After Fuzzy's rubber chicken with glued on feathers was ousted, NibsAgain brought in chickens and axes. JayJ says the squirting is just a technicality but I had to run and buy a dead chicken.

And what possessed JJ to give Fuzzy a hammer? Soon Fuzzy found a chain saw. This was very scary folks. Especially when Fuzzy glued the chicken back together for the judges. Nibs' chicken came with tweezers so of course that chicken was the nakedest.

Fuzzy made a necklace with gizzards so that he could attract buzzards. I think he just likes all the z's.

Andrea came in to judge and popped out again. Rob was the judge and liked Fuzzy's glittery chicken when he threw it in the air. Brigitgue and Professor103 then joined us. Prof had some bad news about a new car and many criminal minds charged into hyper drive. Must have been JJ's silent influences.

JP came in and told us all about his trip to Newark. Cold and trafficky--I am so proud. Come join the antics every night at 9:00 pm but hopefully no more squirting chickens!!

From Bits:
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Birthdays Last Month

Birthday Greetings were heartily extended to:

Vickie   VICKY_CAndson   April 4, 2002
Hex   HEXSISTER   April 6, 2002
Lady   BRATTLADY   April 11, 2002
Jim   JIM1240   April 12, 2002
Snow   SNOWFORK   April 15, 2002
Anthony Shane   Silky's Grandson   April 15, 2002
Cassie   Dawn's Granddaughter   April 19, 2004
DJ   DJKLAUGH   April 19, 2004
KT   GRANNYOF6   April 19, 2004
Rosalyn   ROSALYN   April 19, 2004
Sandra   MISSS   April 25, 2004
David   DGBREWER   April 25, 2004
Linda   HOOPTIEDO   April 25, 2004
Raven   WHITE_RAVEN   April 29, 2004

Calliversaries Last Month

DRAGOLIANA   Ilyana   April 4, 1999
Hal   TOMETRAVELER   April 5, 2001
LIMO_DRIVER   LIMO_DRIVER   April 8, 2002
Ed   NICERGUY1   April 4, 1999
Joe   JADOFT   April 9, 2002
ILSEOBI   ILSEOBI   April 10, 1999
Stacey   SP4361 1   April 10, 2003
Jim   CROWLEY47   April 19, 1998
Mary   MARYJ9   April 20, 2000
Terry   TERYYBECHTEL   April 21, 2001
Sandra   MISSS   April 23, 1998

Joke of The Month

A horse enters a bar.
"Bottle of beer?" says the bartender.
"No, I'm a draft horse."

A kangaroo wearing a kilt goes into a bar.
"What'll it be?" says the bartender.
"Hopscotch."

A seafarer goes into a bar on a dark and stormy night.
"Let me guess," says the bartender.
"Any old port?"

A bold italic walks into a bar.
"Scram," says the bartender.
"We don't serve your type in here."

A crazed man goes into a bar waving two giant cleavers.
The bartender puts a devilled egg, a lemon and a lime
on the bar and says, "What'll you halve?"

Two walls and a ceiling lumber into a bar.
The bartender glares and says, "Watch it, you three.
Last time you were in here you got plastered."

- TimInBC (THICKS15) April 12, 2004


Pun of the Month

Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married. One broom was, of course, the bride broom and the other the groom broom.

The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo.

The wedding was beautiful!

At the wedding dinner after the ceremony, the bride broom leaned over and said to the groom broom, "I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!"

"Impossible!!," said the groom broom, .
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

"We haven't even swept together!"

- Dawn D_GRAY April 20, 2004


Poem of the Month -
"I've Dreamt"

I've dreamt of being a writer, a crafter of words.
To use the language I was given
To make people laugh and cry;
To weave an enchantment for all to wonder at.
I've dreamt of giving people life with paper and pen.
For my heroes and heroines to laugh
And run and defeat all comers.
To let them love under the moon and sun.
I've dreamt of writing poetry lovely and sublime.
To show the world my aching soul or laughing heart.
To be able to write a flower that is like no other;
That is mine alone to give to you.
But, no, it was not to be.
The Gods and Goddesses give us all gifts.
Some to write, others to draw,
Some make music to honor all.
Still others craft things
From wood and stone and clay.
Me? I see the beauty in all these things and collect them.
To share them with everyone.
I am but a humble storyteller,
Sharing what beauty I've found with all.

- Dawn D_GRAY April 22, 2004


Closing Quote

"People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates."

– Thomas Szasz, "Personal Conduct,"
- courtesy Sue SUEMO April 7, 2004


Editor's Note

We hope you find the Bar Rag entertaining and informative. We can always use good pieces and writers here. If you have something you would like to submit, or have a comment, good or bad, about the newsletter, simply send us a note.

And a reminder: we urge everyone to use our website as a gateway into Callahans on Delphi Forums. You will find prominent links to our Message Board and Conference rooms there but also if we ever have technical trouble at Delphi, we can easily let you know and redirect you to a backup site if the trouble is truly serious. And besides - our website itself is special..:)

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