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Callahan's

Callahan's April 2000 Bar Rag!

"To Callahan's Warmth
Wherever You May Be!"

In this issue:

Opening Toast - Manager's Corner -
Conference News - Message Board News -
Birthdays - Joke - Riddlers - Poem - Pun -
Closing Quote - Editor's Note -


Opening Toast

"To all good folk willing to accept and nurture others!"

******SMASH******

-- Cessa (CESSA_DM): Alter Ego.


Manager's Corner

Hi all..

Our big news this month is the announcement that our Callahanian 2000 Clan Gathering will be held in St. Louis over the September 16, 2000 weekend.

Vickie MIDUSTOUCH will be our hostess as we assemble in our first bio-space Gathering in years. I'm really looking forward to the event and to meeting many new friends. In fact, I have already applied for vacation time, and started pricing airline tickets.

Vickie is flying in from Australia for the event and I'm pretty sure she'll win the "Farthest Traveled To Get Here" award..:)

Please join me in thanking Vickie for hosting and handling the Gathering details - and also CarrieO who offered to host the event, too. I am very grateful.

We will be providing details on the hotel and events here in the Bar Rag (and on the message board) as they become available..

I hope to meet *many* of you there!

And the beat goes on...!
Lou


Conference News

Ken (our fearless Conference Manager) sent us the following:

St Patty's day went off without a hitch - Hosted by Lou and Cstar for the majority of the evening...I came in and took over about 11:00 pm and continued to host until close to 4:00 am. A grand time was had by all. Lots of demons bit the dust... and lots of dust bit the demons.


Our current conference schedule:

Sunday - JP starts your week off right with his hijinks and fun ways in "Sunday Funnies"

Monday - Brigitte puts a little magic in your Monday and serves up your drinks cold or hot in "Monday Magic"

Tuesday - Grab your clothespins and peanuts and prepare for war with "Punday Night" with Nanc, Moby, GreyLensman!

Wednesday - Kick back and relax with a long time favorite, as Mitzi helps you celebrate the fact that the week is over half over in "Late Night with Mitzi"

Thursday - Things get started every week with KenWa as he hosts "Something or Other" each and every week.

Also on alternate Thursdays - Peter passes time with rhyme (and reason) in our almost famous Poetry Night

Friday - A pick me up night - where ya never know who's going to be hosting, but you know you'll have a good time

Saturday - Drop by to have a blast with Cstar and the gang...hunt some demons and just relax knowing that you're among friends in "Quiet Little Corner of the World."


Cstar sent in the following Conference Report:

March 4th we had an impromptu "Roses and Brandy" night at the bar. Cstar, inspired by the discovery of an old steamer trunk pulled from a long-forgotten storeroom, dressed the ladies with the bounty found in the trunk. Comfy tuxes (there are too!) were conjured for the gents, a rose pinned in their lapels. Walt was a vision in his black silk tux. JP, although initially reluctant to give up his Bushmills for a brandy, waltzed the night away with the ladies... once he remembered how to waltz.

Suzy SUZYQ was resplendent in a cream colored cashmere gown, a matching rose in her hair, and a sapphire choker someone would kill for. Ursa (THEMORRIGU) wore pink, and Marthann was our yellow rose... well, not of Texas, but certainly a belle of the south.

Momma Mackie began the evening in white taffeta, but adopted black velvet as her new style after a brief battle with demons. Sure to startle the staunchest of school principals, her six foot string of pearls had to be looped again and again around her delicate throat.

Lynn (LYNNM4) dressed all in crimson and diamonds. She had a bit of trouble with the tiara, but it was soon pinned firmly in place. Brigitte joined us in her emerald satin gown... with matching jewels, of course. The "bits" pulled a midnight blue silk number, tea length with a handkerchief hem from the trunk.

Roses, brandy, grace and sophistication abounded.... right up until SuzyQ explained to Carol(LADYLAUGHING) where her pearl bracelet came from:

> SUZQPUBLIC:SuzyQ> i suppose everyone knows how pearls get made?
> MACKIE:Momma Mackie> yeah
> LBT1:"the bits" waits for it
> LYNNM4:Lynn> and so are the people in it
> SUZQPUBLIC:SuzyQ steps to the line for a long one
> LADYLAUGHING:Carol> not Sure Suzy
> LYNNM4:Lynn> how?
> CSTAR1:Cstar 'Tender listens.
> LADYLAUGHING:Carol listens
> LBT1:"the bits" listens to suzy
> SPROCKIES:Brigitte listens
> SUZQPUBLIC:SuzyQ> well, y'see, they come from oysters...
> LYNNM4:Lynn listens
> LYNNM4:Lynn> yeah, okay
> SUZQPUBLIC:SuzyQ> ...a piece of grit gets into an oyster, and it makes the oyster sick...
> MACKIE:Momma Mackie> listens
> (Sandra joins the room.) > CSTAR1:Cstar 'Tender> pun in progress, Sandra...:)
> LYNNM4:Lynn> hi, miss
> SUZQPUBLIC:SuzyQ> ...so the oyster secrets the pearl substance, and it forms around the piece of grit and gets bigger...
> SUZQPUBLIC:SuzyQ> ...and this is where we get the tune "A Gritty Pearl Is Like a Malady."


If you had a great time in one of our conferences, tell us about it! We want to hear your thoughts!


Message Board News

Cstar reported the following:

A bar with a name like Callahan's ought to be "Irish" all month! Well, we have been! Ireland, fairies, red hair, Irish literature, information about St. Patrick, we've tried to include a bit of it all..

I started teasing Suemo about dying her hair red in one thread, and before you knew it, she'd started another thread, Red Hair where all the redheads, and redhead wannabes spoke up. We also heard lots about purple hair, spikes, tattoos, and piercings in places I don't even want to know about!

Believe me, ladies.. if you want to know true redhead lovers (er, I mean men who love redheads, er, red hair) then you need to meet some of the guys in Callahan's. I've often wondered if Callahan's has a larger percentage of redheads, or folks of Irish descent than other places. Sure seem to be a lot of us around here.

Our favorite "Irish" lass (by way of Texas), Selena, stopped in to say "hi" one day, boy have we missed her! Pewter came back, after too long of a hiatus, bringing Modern Artifacts and DarkEyes also returned, and brought a new sonnet!


Finally, one of the highlights of the month, has been Brigitte and Chris telling us about their trip to Ireland last summer. Their commentaries on the trip are hilarious, as only those of a married couple can be. The photographs are incredible, and I'm looking forward to the next installments, as they continue on their trip!


Delphi's been dealing us all fits this past month or so. I just want to tell you all, how much we appreciate your loyalty, your dogged determination, and your cheerful attitude towards all the Delphi Demons that plague us on a daily basis. I have to believe that it will get better one day.. Stick around, and help us remain not only the best bar on the web, but the busiest one too!


Kestrel sent in the next report:

It was a rather quiet month in Political Activism... folks must be saving up for the upcoming US elections. There were some interesting conversations, however. Here are a few highlights:


Catfantastic's post of an Essay-in-progress for a sociology class turned into a discussion of economics and guitars. One of the delightful things about our message board is how any subject can branch out in so many diverse directions. (Well, it sounds better than saying we can't stick to the subject.)


Cstar's poll on Answering the US census showed overwhelmingly that we Callahanians don't shirk our civic responsibilities...assuming we get the short form, anyway.


Midustouch gave us this report:

March has been an interesting month..The Quilting be in Patch Work seems to be well underway, with many beautiful squares being added by many members. No sewing is required, so anyone can contribute. David shared a memory of role reversal. Walt brought in a beautiful blue *thing*. Suemo shared a romantic interlude and Jo a bitter sweet memory of a snowy night-time stroll. Borderwolf expressed his joy at being able to vote. So many others too, have left a square.the fabric of their lives. Bring your own square along..there's lots of room!


Elizabeth Kate shared this report:

What better way to celebrate St. Patrick's month at Callahan's than by a visit from the man who created the Callahan's ideals? In General Discussion's Spider Said Hi, Jo was nice enough to pass along greetings from Spider Robinson himself! They're reprinted here, in case someone managed to miss 'em!

"Do please give all those folks my very warmest wishes, next time you're there, and tell them I love them all. Is there such a thing as a humble pride, or a proud humility? That's how they make me feel. They have taken a goofy notion of mine, and given it more reality than I could ever have dreamed."


Vickie (MIDUSTOUCH) gifted us with her own tribute to shared joy and pain in her thread (which quickly became *our* thread), Patch Work, and Allan [TUT RA] introduced a bit of the Fae when he gave us the histories of the various Faerie families in Where's The Dividing?


Besides the raucous celebration of things Irish, we settled into some serious conversations this month. Woody (WOODFRED), a relatively new face galvanized the board when he asked, What is 'God' To You? and Sue (SUEMO) similarly played the part of catalyst when she posted, Is The Devil Real?


David sent in this great report:

Creative Writing has had an accidental theme this month, that of showing pieces of works in progress -- and what works! Jo (Purr) re-posted Train and expanded on it wonderfully later in the Grab Bag. This started as a writing exercise, and has blossomed! The pieces we've seen taste like more.


Rozalyn gave us a look at the first two chapters of The Great Unicycle Race, her and Michael's novel for young people, which I have read all of, elsewhere -- it's great! Rozalyn also showed us Iyana's Dragon story short form concept and long form, outlining a far-reaching tale related to the "Help Send My Sister to Mars" thread, earlier.

The Secret Valley, Chapter 1 begins this journey. We've been promised a look at some more chapters -- soon. We're all looking forward to it!


Griddlebone let us all into her creative mind to watch her ongoing work, with Writing Funny, an examination of humor in writing with an example from her own work -- I want to see more of that piece! That fascinating process continued with blathering/thinking 'out loud' which took us with Griddlebone as she pondered plot points for a very thrilling piece of which we get only tantalizing glimpses -- tease! The Grab Bag holds some of these glimpses, under Soso (*warning* -- incest) and Soso Meets the Devil (*warning*) Thankfully, all this creativity hasn't completely stolen Griddlebone away from A Work of Art, with which we are delighted to read more episodes!


Catfantastic's For My Portfolio is a haunting and reality-bending glimpse at our familiar world seen from a truly unique perspective... and it will draw you in until you're not quite sure whether your own perspective is valid. In keeping with this month's accidental theme, we have not seen all of this work, but I certainly hope we'll see more. We got another look (but still not enough, Cat; more, please?) in Millennium's Eve.


Bucking the trend, three writers showed us ALL of their stories! (Thank goodness; my fingers are getting tired, hanging onto these cliffs!) Cameron (HHMCAMERON) gave us his untitled story in several cliff-hanger episodes, while Jo introduced us to, Robert Herst, a new member over in cushion who kept us all entertained with his many charming stories of rural life with a Neder guard-cat.

And finally, we had a special treat from Moby, in The Coming of Winter. Here, Moby links us to his website to read a startlingly truthful (in the sense of "telling a recognizable Higher Truth") story of the ending of a relationship, and how its seeds were ever present throughout.


Peter (PHDESMOND) shared information as follows:

In March dozens of poets posted scores of poems on the message board, ranging from the sublime to the silly (check the thread "Two-word poems.") JP, David, and LizKat served as pinch hitters for me at the March 2 Poetry night conference. Both poetry events in March were well attended.


Have something you would like to say about our message board? Drop me a line and let us know. Staff

Birthdays this Month

Birthday Greetings were heartily extended to:

BorderWolf   BORDERWOLF   March 1
Oky   OKYOKY   March 1
BorderWolf   BORDERWOLF   March 1
BlueSteel   BLUESTEEL4   March 7
Ken   DRANGD   March 8
Jo   NOONE13   March 12
Rich   HENAMANA   March 16
Robert   ROBERTHERST   March 16
Peter   PHDESMOND   March 17
CSTAR   CSTAR1   March 24
Lou   ROSE8364   March 26

Riddlers of The Month

Ilyana returned to her winning ways by being first to solve our March Riddle 2000 riddle! Sherry and Beth solved it second and third. Congratulations to all!

It's a lot easier to create a riddle than to solve one. We're always on the lookout for help with content here so send us your riddle creations today!

And see our April 2000 Riddle for your chance to win a Spider Robinson book from our bookstore!


Joke of The Month

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they laid down for the night and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes woke up and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson pondered for minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

"Watson, you moron. Some bastard has stolen our tent."

Griddlebone LGRIDDLEBONE - The Art Of Observation


Poem of the Month - "To A Poor Space Alien"

The featured poem this month, written by Kestrel (Chad), was a response to the thread "No space aliens, please, we're poets."

To A Poor Space Alien

A sadness large as space infects your soul.
You've lost three hundred years trying to find
One person to appreciate your goal,
One human with a truly open mind.
You've blended in with groups around this earth,
But diff'rences have always made you flee.
The sadnesses of death, the joys of birth;
Beyond your understanding, painfully.
You're stuck here, so you try to get it right.
All creatures have the need to just belong.
But loneliness defeats you in the night:
When looking skyward, all the stars are wrong.
But there is hope as long as time still spans:
Someday you'll meet the folks at Callahan's.

-- Kestrel (Chad) March 2000


Pun of the Month

One day, a bank teller named Patricia Wack had a frog come up to her wicket. The frog jumped up on the counter and said, "Hello, my name is Kermit Jagger and I'd like a loan." Miss Wack thought it was a joke but decided to play along. She said, "Well, do you have an account with us?" Kermit replied, "No, but my dad is Mick Jagger and I know the bank manager."

Miss Wack said, "Do you have any collateral?" Kermit pulled a small pink elephant out of his pocket and said, "Yes, this is my collateral." Miss Wack asked him to wait while she checked with the bank manager. She went into the managers office, held up the elephant and said, "There's a frog out there who says he's Mick Jaggers son, he wants a loan and all he has for collateral is this...thing!"

The bank manager replied,

"It's a knick knack, Patty Wack, give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

:Sherry (CAFEPHILOSPH): 3/21/00 All shall be PUNished

Nanc sent word, that March was a problem filled month. The traditional Monthly Book Night was not held due to various rounds of sickness and demons. We shall try to do two book nights in April. However, this is still undecided.

She also sent this message:

*** Ron (Southron2) **** , the winner of last weeks first round; stepped to the rescue last Punday Night. He volunteered to be Guest Pun Ref for Round 2; Walt's normal spot, while Walt was away. Ron did a Wonderful job considering I drafted him during the first round. We hope Ron will consent to be drafted again.


Closing Quote

"The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment."

-- Dorothy Nevill


Editor's Note

Each month as I put together the Bar Rag, I am reminded of all the people who make it possible. I can not express the fun and enjoyment I receive from doing this monthly. To all of you that make it possible for me, I express my deep and heartfelt thanks.

If you would like to submit information, just email me. This is your "Bar Rag."

Until next month, walk in beauty.


We hope you find the Bar Rag entertaining and informative. We can always use good pieces and writers here. If you have something you would like to submit, or have a comment, good or bad, about the newsletter, or if you wish to be added to or removed from our Bar Rag mailing list, simply send us a note.

Staff

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